fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
