Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i just made my gag reflex go away.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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