I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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