i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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