I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
