ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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