Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
