maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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