I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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