just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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