I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
its liver damage thursday
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
