I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
