Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
