I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
