Grow some girl-balls and come out already
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
