just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
