Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
