my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My penis needs a shock collar
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
