i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
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