I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
