I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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