so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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