Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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