Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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