Me too!
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
