I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize