I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize