Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
