One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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