we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
