I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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