seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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