I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just forgot I was standing up.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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