Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
