Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Randomize
