My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
