I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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