whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
