Sponge bath it is.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Randomize
