i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
