we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
And then he peed in my hair
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
