Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
