Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
