My nipple is on Facebook.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
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