If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize