You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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