I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
