this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
