i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
