so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
All the doctor said was why
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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