Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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