It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Found your dick twin last night
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
