these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
