You really coming over, don't trick.
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
