I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
