Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
