i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
