dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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