HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
