it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Why is there bacon in the couch?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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