I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
