5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
