i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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