It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I need a burrito and a hug.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
