if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
