So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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